A couple of peeves


I hate it when people ask me if I’m ok when I am. It makes me feel defensive. The mother of Akiva’s play date (uggh, for any number of reasons) asked me that as I was picking the boys up from the school. (She met me there to give me the boy’s car seat.) She seems to think that because play dates are new to me, I must be struggling with the practicalities of them — or maybe the emotional letting go. (Little does she know…) Or maybe she just expects me to be perky all the time. Ugh. I said, “I’m fine. This is just how I am.” It felt so weird. She’s very intense.

So’s her damn kid. She’s teaching him how to play the piano, except she doesn’t know anything about music. She downloaded something from the internet that substitutes numbers for notes, so the kid is just reading a series of numbers. She’s put numbered stickers on the keys of her upright piano, and that’s how he knows what note to play. As soon as he arrived here, he made a beeline for our piano and proceeded to play his entire repertoire over and over, mistakes and all. He made some comment about the keys not having stickers on them. (“But that’s a priceless Steinway!”) In the process, he was ignoring Akiva entirely. Finally I told him that after the next song, the piano was going to go to sleep for a while.

Another peeve is about the play date concept in general. I know I’ve bleated about this before. Back in my day (!) we didn’t have play dates, we just played. When we were bored, we went out into the neighborhood and rang our friends’ doorbells till we found someone who wanted to hang out. I hate that I have to be the social secretary in order for my son to have companionship. Is it like this everywhere now? What happened to unstructured play?


3 thoughts on “A couple of peeves

  1. Melly

    The only places I know of where there are no play dates required are on military bases. On base, kids still do that ringing the doorbell thing. I like it.

  2. Ayala

    Yes. It’s like that pretty much everywhere now-a-days. At least in homes where there is normal parental supervision. Kids now don’t do their own thing — at least until they are old enough to bike or drive themselves. I agree that it’s a bummer. It’s an advantage of siblings I guess that are close together. Built in playdate. Your boys are close enough in age that that benefit ought to kick in in the next year. Even my three younger ones — with 3 years apart between each of them — manage to entertain each other more than I expected.

  3. laurabzzz

    I , too, bemoan the existence of playdates. I try to do them as little as possible (but they are impossible to avoid) much to my children’s chagrin…but they have friends they are with in school and they have each other at home …”that’s why I *HAD* him, to play with you”, I say to the elder boy šŸ˜‰

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