Truly the best of times and the worst of times.
We are cashing out of the stock market, lucky to escape with our lives. Bill has a job prospect at his gym, which we feel optimistic about, but the specifics of which have yet to be named. (One of the guys he has to meet with to iron it all out is awaiting the arrival of a new baby, and all is on hold until the baby comes.) At least we own our home (thank G-d) but even so, everything about our lifestyle is in the process of changing.
I’ve been having trouble with my mood these past few days. Even in the absence of financial ruin, this was going to be an intense couple of weeks for me. I’ve got two concerts coming up next weekend, and am in that annoying stage of preparation when all seems lost. (I know I usually get it together in time for the performance, but this phase seems to be an inevitable part of the process for me.) I’m at day 25 of my monthly cycle.
There are some medical questions, which now I’m tempted to ignore because we have to pay for labs out of pocket. (I think the whole thing is a red herring, but my gastroenterologist is being thorough. He doesn’t want to be the one who misses something important, you know?)
It’s all a bit much.
I know some people deal with this level of stress (and worse) all the time… All I can say is I need time to get used to it.
I’m grieving stuff that my brain knows is superficial but that my emotions still seem to find important.